Until I stepped foot in the Pregnancy & Family Resource Center in December of 2016, I would say that abortion had never been woven into the fabric of my life. But God has a way of opening our eyes to things that we suppress or choose to ignore for countless months/years and I know I had done this for varying reasons, mostly because I know I didn’t want to deal with deeply rooted hurt and pain. But God has his way of bringing us to the perfect place and time to heal us in a way we never knew.
As a child, I was told that my parent’s marriage was not going well and my mom wanted to end the marriage but found out she was pregnant with me. She planned to have an abortion, because in her mind she could justify leaving my dad and surviving financially with one child but not 2. So, she did what most of us do, called her best friend. My mom explained the situation and her best friend listened and listened and then at the very end she said that she understands where my mom is in her life. The words that she spoke were, “You are one of the few people I know that 20 years from now would not wonder if that was your Kathleen.” At that time my life was saved by the wise, kind and loving words of a friend. My mom told me that she could not live with the wonder is she had aborted me.
So, my life went on and I listened to society and the world and as a teen and young adult, I thought it was best for each person to make decisions they thought best for themselves and their life situations.
At the end of high school, my best friend called me up and asked if I would take a road trip with her, of course, I would. A fun day of driving, snacking, and loud music with my best friend, what could be better!! About an hour or so into our drive she revealed to me that she asked me to go with her because she was going to have an abortion and didn’t want to do it alone. At that time, we lived in a state where she wasn’t able to get an abortion, so we drove to the next state. We stayed in the dirtiest, filthiest most disgusting motel I’ve ever seen in my life. The next morning, she got up and left, returning later that day we packed up the motel room and got back in the car for a 2 and a half-hour silent drive. She dropped me off at my house and it’s been 30 years and she and I have never spoken since that day.
It wasn’t until I came to the Pregnancy & Family Resource Center, that I realized my friend’s abortion, became the pinnacle, the defining moment of our long friendship and nothing that we had experienced together before that time could compare to that moment and there was no going back, there was no moving past that experience because we were not mature enough to talk about it. Here it is 30 years later and my heart aches for her. I learned through my time here at the Pregnancy & Family Resource Center that there is no time limit on the devastation and destruction abortion has on individuals and relationships.
I am amazed at God’s timing and his perfection in preparing each of us for something so great we could never imagine, fall 2018 my daughter tells me that she is pregnant. Unfortunately, the first thought that went through my mind, is she’s just another statistic, young, unmarried and now pregnant.
This is the exact moment when God’s great grace and mercy step in. Looking back, I see clearly that God brought me to the Pregnancy & Family Resource Center two years earlier to allow me to see young unwed moms in a whole new light. His light! God reminded me that my daughter’s pregnancy was not a mistake. He allowed it to happen and one day I hope to know why, but for now, my husband and I are blessed with a beautiful, happy, healthy granddaughter. The circumstances of how she came to be don’t even matter because we are able as a family to learn, grow and heal together.
As I put part of my life on paper for so many to see I think of a church, and in the Pastor’s office there hung a picture that stopped me in my tracks and brought a visual image of God’s love. It was a well-dressed man sitting in a chair with his head in his hands sobbing. At the man’s feet was an image of Jesus with a basin of water and a towel with shoes and socks neatly set to the side.
The reward that is felt and the overwhelming of the Holy Spirit when we do humble ourselves in obedience to the Lord is what I saw in that picture. There have been few humbling experiences in my life and the powerfulness that I was engulfed in afterward, that feeling only came with humble obedience to the Lord.
I feel that almost daily serving here at Pregnancy and Family Resource Center.